Comeback.

This blog has been on hiatus for a long time and people may think this blog is a dead-cause. I have news for all of you. This is just the beginning! Consider this blog on semi-hiatus. Whether or not I have a co-author, this blog will still live. I have so many things to share with all of you. It may not be what you want to hear and I may be rejected in all kinds of forms, but I do not care.

I want to change the world. I want to make a difference. If I stay silent or walk away, this world may stay the same. I can't bear to see my future children in a world where people are attacked for who they are. This blog may not be perfect, it may not look how I want it, and it may not be the best. However, perfection is not the reason for this blog. I want to share my story and my thoughts to change someones life.

I will come back. Promise.

Amber

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Love to All

"I don't care if you're black, white,,straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. Simple as that." -Eminem


Yes, yes it took me forever to do the quote for today. But I think this quote has some serious importance. I know I can't be the only one. Now - if a famous rapper can say "I don't care who you are, what your sexual orientation is or how you look, as long as you're nice to me I'll be nice to you," then what's from stopping the rest of the people of the world from following in his footsteps?

Fear. I think that the main problem with accepting people who are different than we are is fear. Not fear like someone might fear a spider. Fear of change. Fear of people who are different. We want everything and everyone to fit in this nice little neat box of categories, and anyone who we don't think should be in those categories is thrown out or shunned. That should NOT be the case. 

Love to all is one of the most IMPORTANT concepts you can teach to anyone. Your friends, your family, your children, your parents, your church, your neighbors. Anyone who will listen. You should love your neighbors (people in general) as you love yourself, and treat them with the same kindness as you would expect them to treat you with. That's one of the most important things to remember. 

I hate when I see a sign or hear someone say "God hates gays!" Okay - let me set one thing straight. HE DOES NOT HATE ANYONE! God created you just the way you are for a reason. God does NOT make mistakes. You were born gay or straight or bisexual or pansexual or lesbian. You didn't BECOME that way through a choice. God has a plan for you. You were not a mistake. I promise. God loves you no matter who you are or what you do. 

Going forward this week, please try to remember this. When you hear someone talking bad about the LGBT community, stand up. Be the one to speak out against the hate. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The only way we can break the hate is to conquer it with love..but that's another quote for another day. 

**I'm terribly terribly sorry for being so inactive lately. I got back from vacation around August 21, but since then I've gone back to school and it's been a lot more hectic than I originally thought it would be. I will do my best to post at least once a week. Thank you for your continuous support.**

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Temporary Hiatus

Hello Lovelies.

Sadly, it is time for me to take a temporary hiatus. This is not permanent, however. I will be back and will continue on writing.

I need this hiatus. I need to stop, take a break, spend more time with God, do some research and studying, start writing on some of my articles, and take time to focus on college. There is some growing that I need to do before I continue further.

I figured this is the perfect time to take a hiatus, since my new co-author is on vacation for at least a month. It wouldn't be fair to do this when she comes back, so this is a great opportunity to take a break.

I need to rethink the purpose for this blog, what I really want to accomplish, and tap into listening to the Holy Spirit.

I DO NOT follow rules/regulation set by man in a book. I follow the HOLY SPIRIT and I need to strengthen my faith. I have been questioning my faith lately...and that is a good thing. It is a good thing to ask questions and think. What kind of life would it be for a Christian to never answer questions and act like a mindless robot? I believe God wants us to ask questions and to rebel against controlling Religions.

I also need to save up for some upgrades for the blog. If you want to donate, you can go here: http://www.gofundme.com/bspg2o

I am also going to stay off social media for a bit as well.

Keep an eye out for the blog's return!

Remember: GOD LOVES YOU and does not hate you. There is nothing wrong with you.

Amber

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Questioning My Faith

Throughout life, we all go through our own journey. Some of us believe in fate and chance, while others rely on faith. We all face difficulties in our journey; they make us who we are. We can either choose to let it make us stronger or let it break us. In my opinion, I believe what I am going through right now is going to make me stronger in the end. I repeatedly have to keep asking God for strength, because I have been tempted to give up. My strength is weakening, my faith is on the rocks, and I have fears. Every day seems like a huge battle for me and I feel lost. I feel like I am stuck on this road leading me to my destiny. I do not know which road to take and I am nervous to take risks. I didn't used to be this way, but life brought these fears upon me. I do not want to be a failure. I do not want to be who everyone wants me to be. I want to be me, but honestly, I am scared to be me.

I am questioning my faith, but I believe it will help me in the end. I know God exists and He is amazing; however, I feel like an outsider. Many churches are still in that religious mind-set. They want that control and can't stand it when they do not have the power. In the past, religion was used for control, to keep people in line, and to fulfill selfish desires. When I say selfish desires, I mean that the Bible would be used to ban or promote issues for their own ignorance. God is always portrayed as hateful, greedy, and judgmental. Manifest Destiny, slavery promotion, and interracial marriage ban are just a few examples of that. Now, the Bible and God's name is being used as an excuse to hate anyone who is part of the LGBT community.

I am starting to question certain things and just ask a lot of questions in my head. I know for a fact the Bible was tampered with and is still changed to this day. For example, in the King James Version, it says do not put markings of the dead upon your body (Leviticus 19:28). However, if you look at other new versions of the bible, it says something different. It mentions tattoos instead. I find that odd. That is just one of the many examples I have seen that has made me believe the Bible is manipulated. Now, I do believe The Bible holds the true word of God. However, we need to admit there is evidence the Bible has been changed and is continuing to change.


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Please accept yourself

 By: Amber Harbin
**This post has a lot of emotional content within it and bullying/other abusive behavior is discussed as well.**

For most of my life, I have thought something was wrong with me. My self-esteem was ripped to pieces at an early age and I could not stand who I was. Thank God I am not where I use to be. As Joyce Meyer says, "I may not be where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be." It wasn't my fault that I had a low self-esteem, but I should have learned not to wallow in self-pity. I want to share some deep and personal memories in this post. Believe it or not, I am a private person. It is hard to believe since I have a blog, want to have more blogs, and I have a twitter account. Why would I be on social media and have a blog if I was a private person? Well, first off I believe I have a message to spread. That message is that God loves everyone, accepts everyone, and there is nothing wrong with the LGBT community. I want to save a life. I want to have someone feel like they are not alone when they read my posts. Also, I never really had anyone to talk to growing up. Sure, I had a couple best friends but it is more complicated than you think. Between moving around a lot and getting older, friendships tend to die and people go their own separate ways.

I've never been allowed to talk or given freedom of expression, if you will. Every time I would open my mouth to say a word, I was told to shut up and I was always put down. My mother was really dysfunctional, so when my family called me, "Pam Junior" or put me down, it really got to me. My family told me all my mom did was talk and never learned to shut up. They would run when they saw her coming. She was a drama queen. All I wanted to do was have a conversation or talk to someone, but every time I was made to feel like I didn't deserve to talk. From the beginning, most of my family has compared me to my mother and never sees good in me. When you are a child and you are told how fat you are, it brings you down. If your own mother says she hates you, wishes she had an abortion, and would beat you mercilessly, it would bring you down. If your family compares you to your crazy mother, doesn't really talk to you, puts you down for your weight, and treats you like an outcast, it can bring you down. If some of your family hate you for having blue eyes, blonde hair, and pale skin, you tend to think you are a disease. Not only did my family put me down for those things, but people at school did too. I was even ashamed to be white, because I was put down by others who were a different color than me. I didn't understand. I don't see "color". Never have, never will. My brain figured if my mother rejects me, my father doesn't want me, and my own family hates me, something must be wrong with me. 

I wish I could go back to the past and tell myself how wrong the family was about me. When I look back at my baby pictures, I see a beautiful and adorable little girl. I don't see the horrible things they said about me. I have learned that nothing is wrong with me, in fact, they are the ones that need help. I learned over the years that the family has a cycle of hurting each other. They are insecure, hateful, love causing drama, and are way beyond dysfunctional. Them putting me down and making me feel like crap made them feel better temporarily. It gives them some kind of sick power and rush, but it doesn't cure their pain does it? I know they are in pain. I know that. Still, it doesn't excuse what you do to someone. We were supposed to be a family, but we never were. It is like a circus that should have been disbanded a long time ago. My family lives to hurt each other and doesn't want to see each other succeed. I had to make a decision and get away from most of them. There are more people I am going to weed out of my life, but for now I have done what I needed to do. 

I forgive my family for what they have done and I forgive all my enemies who have put me down. Yes, I've been bullied, rejected, and beaten. It made me stronger in the end. No child deserves to be abused or hurt in any kind of way. I would never wish any pain or my pain on anyone else. I am stronger because of it and it is going to make me live a good life. I didn't have a good beginning, but I am going to have a great ending. The middle of it is going to be just as fantastic as the ending. You have a choice. PLEASE accept yourself. Love yourself for who you are. Even if your family rejects you and puts you down, keep the faith. They are the ones who can't see what greatness you have. You are beautiful, amazing, and important! Believe that with all your heart and do not let anyone bring you down. You have a mission and a purpose in this world. 

God put me on this earth for a reason. Believe me, many times I wished I was never born. Every time I would hear Martina McBride's 'Concrete Angel' song, I would always burst out crying when she sung about the girl wishing she was never born. I felt it deep in my heart that God made a mistake. GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES. Yes, I went through hell and back, but I am still here. If I didn't go through what I did, who knows what kind of person I would have become. Everything happens for a reason and God has delivered me from the "Egypt" in my life. He is still leading me to my "promised land" and he is doing the same for you. Stop going around the same desert in your life and throw away the negativity. You are God's masterpiece and you are here for a reason.

Please accept yourself. I will accept you for who you are. Be yourself, love. Stay original because copies are not the same. They might look the same, but they are so different. Would you rather be a miserable copy or the original masterpiece God created you to be. You choose.

                                             With Love,
                                               Amber.

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Making a Difference

By: Amber Harbin

As I am sitting on my bed, thoughts are entering my head. Am I making a difference? Is this blog a waste of time? Should I just give up? The main reason I started this blog was because I wanted to make a difference. I know everyone is not a Christian or believes in God. However, there are people who do believe God exists. If there are people out there who think like I used to, I am pretty sure they believe God hates them. Rejection is a horrible thing to face, especially when it comes from a God who is supposed to love you. When I thought God hated me and rejected me, I was miserable deep inside. I had thoughts of suicide, fear of rejection, and I felt like I could never measure up. I am a bi-sexual Christian and that is not "normal" in society. There are people in the LGBT community, as well as in Christianity, that do not accept bi-sexuals. Someone has to make a stand and say something.

There are children and teenagers who have gone through what I did. I would never wish that kind of pain on anyone, especially children or teenagers. It is my hope that someone who feels rejected, hated, or confused will see my posts. I want them to accept who they are inside and to love each other. I can't quit now, because if i do, I will regret it forever. I could save someone today. I could save someone tomorrow. Everyone should know God loves them and he doesn't look at sexual orientation or color.

I will admit that I have a little bit of fear this blog is doing nothing to help others. However, I do feel God put it on my heart to do this blog. I am stepping out in faith to do this project, instead of beating myself up for who I am. God works in mysterious ways and He works through people who others discard as trash or lowly (1 Corinthians 1:28-29). I am not perfect. I do not know it all. I did not go to a Bible college. However, Jesus picked people to be his disciples that the Pharisees did not like. The only person the Pharisees liked ended up betraying Jesus. I have to hold on to this hope that this blog will change a life. It means so much for me to make a difference, because I do not want people to go through what I went through. No child or teenager should have to hate themselves.

People may get annoyed that I keep repeating to accept yourself. However, someone may need to hear it. If people accepted themselves and had love in them, there would be less crime and havoc in the world. I may be right and I may be wrong, but I have to speak my mind. Someone has to speak up. I may be wasting my time. However, if Martin Luther King had that same mentality, maybe we would still be segregated by color. Stick to your dream and make a difference!

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Life with Homophobia

 By: Ms. Bi Beauty

"I hate the word HOMOPHOBIA. It's not a PHOBIA. You're not SCARED, you're an ASSHOLE."   -Morgan Freeman


LIFE WITH HOMOPHOBIA 

Hello you lovely people! Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ms. Bi Beauty. I am a Bisexual Teenage Christian in the United States. The reason I am not giving my true identity is due to the fact that I live with extremely homophobic parents. But Amber has been delightful and allowed me to become a co-author of the blog! So here goes! 

My parents think that being homosexual is against the Bible, as do many homophobes. However, in reality, it's not! People paraphrase the Bible way too much. Besides, if we were to truly go by the Bible, we shouldn't eat bacon. So, if you like bacon, GOD HATES YOU NOW! No, he doesn't, but imagine how that would feel. That's how homosexuals feel...it's not against the Bible to be homosexual. Being homosexual is not a sin. God loves all his children, and God makes no mistakes. <3 

There are actually several parts in the Bible that support same-sex relationships. Samuel 1:26 states - "I grieve for you, my brother Jonathan. How dear you were to me! How wonderful was your love for me; better even than the love of women." What happened was this; after David defeated Goliath, Saul's eldest son, Jonathan, was taken by the handsome young man who had defeated the giant. Soon after, Jonathan was killed in an attack, and the above quote is David speaking after the man that he loved was killed. 

Also, another reason that people are generally homophobic is because they don't understand that being homosexual is NOT a choice! They think that people can just up-and-say "YES! I AM GAY TODAY!" NO! It doesn't work like that! People don't choose a life of ridicule and hate! Think about that the next time someone says "It's a choice!" 

Next time someone tries to put you down because of your sexuality, telling you that you are an abomination or a sin, just tell them that God loves me just as I am and he made me the way I am for a reason! <3 

Love to ALL! 

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Ignore the Religious and BE YOURSELF!

     Hello lovelies. I just want to take a moment and tell you that God loves you. Do not listen to the hateful Christians who claim to know God. They do not know God, for they are full of hate and selfishness. Do not let heartless fools bring you down. You are God's masterpiece. Jesus spoke against the religious time and time again. There are religious people who think they are holier than thou and look down upon others. This is how I see the religious hypocrites.When I think of religious hypocrites, I see them going up to their mirror to praise themselves. It reminds me of the queen in the movie, "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs." They have their heads held up high, but in a conceited kind of way. Their noses are stuck up in the air, looking down upon anyone they see. They see their "righteousness" and think they are better than everyone else.
     "Mirror, Mirror...on the wall...who is the fairest one of all?" That is what goes through their minds. "God...God...my amazing God...who is the fairest religious leader of them all? Surely it can't be that other guy, for he is a gay man. It is said to stone all who disobey your law. Aren't I greatest of them all, Lord?"
     That is is exactly how I see them. However, just as the queen had her fall so will the religious hypocrites. Do not listen to the poison they feed you. They are full of crap and if you believe their crap, you will feel like crap. God wants you to be happy and to love yourself. Please love yourself. Do not let the hate get to you. People who hate do not know what love is. Do not hate them back. Give them back love! Pity them and pray for them, for they are lost.
     Let the religious in today's world worship themselves and gaze at their reflections in the mirror. If they want to adore themselves, let them do it. They claim for us not to be deceived, but it is they who are deceived into their prideful, hateful ways. Learn to receive God's grace and accept yourself. The devil wants you to hate yourself and to think bad thoughts. Do not let him win. He can work through even the people who claim to be close to God. If they judge you and persecute you, they do not walk in love or with God.

     There is nothing wrong with you. Accept your sexuality and embrace it! Go and follow the Holy Spirit! Ignore the religious and their foolishness. Pity them, pray for them, and move on. God loves you, lovelies!


                                                           I love you all,
                                                               Amber

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How to Fight Off Hate [interview with LGBTsupport.org]

By: Amber Harbin
     How do we fight off hate? Well, from my faith point-of-view, we can fight it off doing it God's way. What is God's way? Well, God tells us to pray for your enemies, forgive them, never let the sun go down on your anger, and to shake it off. A lot of people may say, "It is easier said than done." They are right. It is extremely hard and it is not going to be easy. We are so spoiled and want things the easy way. I know we all wish we had some magic pill to get rid of all of our problems, but that is not how life works. In life, you have to fight for what you want. You have to put effort into a lot of things in life.

  • Step 1: Do not fuel it with hatred of your own.
     Sometimes, when people hurt us it causes us to develop hatred of our own. We let emotions rule our head and then we end up saying/doing something that makes the situation worse. If the hatred is happening on social media, block/report the person! Also, don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Do not do it with hatred, however. Stand up for what you believe in with love, common sense, and maturity. Do not hate your brother, for if you hate your brother, you are not doing what Jesus told you to do.

Psalm 37:8 → Cease from anger and forsake wrath; fret not yourself...it tends only to evildoing. 
Proverbs 15:1 → A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.
Proverbs 16:32 → He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, he who rules his [own] spirit than he who takes a city.

  • Step 2: Accept Hatred will come your way.
     When you stand up for who you are or accept yourself, hatred is bound to find you at some point. Why? Humans can be ignorant, hateful, and selfish creatures. Does that mean we let it get to us? No. Did you know a holocaust survivor chose not to let the hatred get to him? Viktor E. Frankl, who was in the holocaust, said a great quote that we should all remember. He said,“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”
     So yes, hatred is going to come your way at some point. However, it is about how you handle the hatred that is given to you. You have to stand up for what you believe in and who you are, no matter what comes your way. People are going to disagree with you and not everyone is going to like you. You have to come to peace with that. 

  • Step 3: Forgive and move on.
     When someone says hurtful things to you, sometimes it can be hard to walk away or even forget what they said. Words hurt more than people realize and can change a life, even end a life. However, we have to get to a point where we don't let words change who we are. Yes, we are allowed to get upset...otherwise we wouldn't be human beings. However, after we grieve a bit and think on it a few, it is time to put it behind you. Put it in an imaginary chest and throw it away in your mind. Why? If we dwell on something someone said, we will start to believe it. Forgive and move on. 
     From a faith point of view, it is great to pray for your enemies. Forgiveness is about forgiving when you are so pissed off you can hardly stand it! It isn't easy, but it gets easier each time you do it, especially with God's help and intervention. If you try to forgive through your own flesh[human desires], it is not going to work. Pray for them even if you are gritting your teeth and you feel like you don't mean it. God hears you and it will get easier every time, trust me.

  • Step 4: Shake it Off/Use it to your advantage
     It is time to shake off those words they said about you. They are not true and you don't care what they think. Just shake it off. YOU HAVE A CHOICE when it comes to taking offense. You don't have to take offense. Forgive, pray, move on, and ask God for strength. You can also use the painful words and experiences to change someone else's life. There are so many ways you can take hatred and turn it around for the better. For example, I was bullied for who I was and rejected by my family. Now, I have a twitter and a blog dedicated to letting people know God loves them and they should accept themselves. Everything happens for a reason.

How to Fight Off Hate [opinions from LGBTsupport.org]

     Have you ever wanted a place where you could belong and be yourself? I, as a member of the LGBT community, used to find it hard to belong. When I was younger, sites like the Trevor Project or LGBTsupport.org didn't exist. Fortunately, the LGBT community has more support than they did years ago. One of the websites to go to, besides the Trevor Project, is LGBTsupport.org! :)
     What is LGBTsupport.org and why is it important? It is a WORLDWIDE non-profit organization that provides a lot of helpful resources for the LGBT community. They have an online forum where LGBT advice, guidance, and support can be found. The website also offers suicide prevention assistance, along with help in tough situations. A tough situation would be like rape, domestic abuse, or being bullied. The founders of the website have their phones turned on twenty-four hours a day! Do not hesitate to call them if you need help. Also, call 911 if you are in a dire emergency!
     I had the amazing privilege to interview them and get their opinion on how to fight off hate. Matt Stout, the main founder of the website, has experienced a lot of hate. In fact, he experiences it everyday as a waiter, because most of his customers don't believe in equality. Imagine, day after day, someone treats you like you are not part of society due to your sexual orientation. It is like being treated like an outcast because of your color. Because of Matt's experience with hate, he has learned how to fight it off when it comes his way.
     Matt Stout: "I think we can fight off hate the same way I tell you! Just ignore the haters. Don't respond. Don't acknowledge the hate, to not give them fuel for the fire." He also went on to quote Miley Cyrus, the Hannah Montana and 'Wrecking Ball' star. "Remember only God can judge us, forget the haters -Miley Cyrus." 
     Matt doesn't handle the website alone, in fact, Rachael Acuff puts in the same amount of work as he does. Rachael also has suggestions on how to fight off hate and what it takes to let it go.
     Rachael Acuff: "I think when fighting off hate, you need to be strong in yourself, you need to have confidence in what you believe. You need to have a voice when seeing acts of hate being committed. I think the best advice that I can give to others experiencing hate is to report it if at school or work setting. And always have a strong support system around you of people you trust. Having someone to talk to about struggles your having in your life is one of the most important things you can have to make life a little easier. Forgiveness is a hard thing to do when facing someone who may have caused you a lot of pain, but it is vital in order for you to heal. It isn't something that can be rushed. It has to come at a time when you are ready to face the person and the hate they subjected you to. I don't believe people should shake off the hate so much as taking it and turning it around into something positive."
     Believe it or not, Rachael has hated a person once. She shared with me her experience and how she learned to forgive that person. Letting go of hate is a process and Rachael realizes that. That is what makes her a better person, because she took a step back and realized she needed to walk in love instead of hate.
     Rachael Acuff: "I have personally experienced feelings of hate toward my ex-husband. I had to get to a point where I was ready to forgive him. I had to look at all of the good things he did for me and not just the bad. When I was able to really step back and do that I was able to forgive him for what he had done and it allowed me to finally heal. And quit feeling the pain of the past. I still have little respect for him, but I no longer hate him."

How do YOU fight off hate?

     How do you fight off hate? What experiences have you had and what tips can you share for everyone else to see? It might appear in future posts :) 

                        With Love, Amber

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What is Hate?

By: Amber Harbin

     Before we learn how to fight off hate, we need to know what the word 'hate' means. According to Merriam-Webster, hate means an "intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury" or an "extreme dislike or antipathy". Hate is a very powerful word and emotion. It has the power to change a life, take a life, and corrupt the soul. If we are not careful, we can let the hate from the other person cause us to hate as well. Hate is a recurring cycle, like a never-ending chain. Someone has to break the chain, make a stand. One way to end hate is to not fuel it whatsoever. Fueling hate with hate causes it to burn larger, harder, and causes more problems than we want. It would be like if a car was on fire and you threw gasoline on it. It wouldn't solve the issue of the car burning, in fact, it would make it ten times worse. That is what hate is like. 
     Hate is a waste of time. It makes you feel worn out, angry, and on edge all the time. I know this because I used to be like that. I would let what people said about me or do to me get under my skin. It made me despise them, not wanting to be in their presence, and I sneered when they came near. Now, when I say them, I am talking about my family members and a few others that were at my old college. I was insecure and was tired of being hated, bullied, and manipulated. I had enough. However, instead of living in love, I walked in hate. I loathed my family for what they did to me and I acted in a snobby way towards my old classmates. In fact, my insecurity caused me to think I was better than them. I was so lost back then and I can't believe I thought that about myself. By not walking in love, I was only complicating the issues and the cycle just kept on going. I finally decided that it was time to stop despising the people that hurt me and I wanted to heal.
      I am a Christian and I believe I can't do anything without God's help. You may have different beliefs, but I believe you can use some of the tips I learned from God to fight off the hatred in this world. Even if you are not a Christian, hating someone is a complete waste of time. It drains your energy and deprives you of your destiny. From personal experience, I feel so much better giving and loving, than being full of hate for people that hurt me. If you want to be happier, you have to learn to walk in love and fight off hate. In the next post, I plan to actually talk about how to fight off hate. I split some of the writing up because I doubt you want to read a never-ending page on one subject. So I think it is best if I split the posts. :)

     Ephesians 4:31-32

     Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil speaking, abusive, or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).

     And become useful and helpful and kind to on another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted, forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you. 


Think about that.

With Love,
Amber
     



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My Experience with Hate

By: Amber Harbin

 Hello Lovelies.
     As I look back into my childhood, I realize how much hate I have endured over the years. However, I do not feel sorry for myself. It made me stronger as a person and that is why I am here today. I want to share with you some of the things I experienced and some suggestions on how to fight off hate.
        As a child, I was rejected by my own family. Not only was I rejected and put down by my family, but I was also rejected by my peers at school. My family did not like me due to the color of my hair and the color of my eyes. They also claimed I would be just like my mother and I would be a nobody. In my elementary days, I was bullied due to the color of my skin, color of my hair, the color of my eyes, and how I walked. Before I moved, I had one person who stood by me. She didn't see color or anything else. She just saw me for the person that I was. She was the only African-American who would play with me and talk to me. Even the teachers couldn't stand me, due to my color, the color of my eyes, and the color of my hair. As you can imagine, I had a pretty fucked up self-esteem. Think about it. If your family rejects you, along with your peers, something has to be off right? I am pretty sure I am not the only person to endure any hate.
     In my middle school days, even after I moved, I was still bullied. All the other girls who had the same skin color as me put me down. Why? Well, I had blonde hair and that wasn't acceptable apparently. Out of desperation to be accepted and loved, I dyed my hair brown. Also, it was a great experience to dye my hair. I was so happy. When I went to school the next day, the teasing got worse. I was called a 'poser' and told that I would never be like them. I was a blonde and would always be a blonde. Also, my current situation at home was known in school due to social services coming all the time. I was still being rejected by my family. My mom found out I was attracted to girls when she read my diary. We were already not getting along, due to her being abusive. She automatically threw the bible in my face, telling me God didn't approve and a bunch of other things. That night pushed me further away from God than I realized. 
     In my high school days, I spent most of my time at an online school. There was only one year I went to public school and I could not stand it. There was still drama, ignorance, and I was being put down for my color again and who I was. I wanted to go back to online school anyway because it was taught at a college level and I learned more. I was also sick at the time, but that's another story. 
     I didn't share my story with you guys to get sympathy. I have had enough of that. Pity will never get another second from me. I told my story to show you that yes...there is hate in the world, but you can use that hate to motivate you. We have to stand up, be the change, and be willing to get rid of the hatred in this world. I have learned so much from God on how to fight off hate and I want to share that with you. In the next post, I will explain how to fight off hate and what the founders of LGBTsupport.org have to say about the same subject. 

REMEMBER: GOD LOVES YOU AND ACCEPTS YOU. BE YOURSELF. IGNORE THE HATERS. :)

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God Loves You.

By: Amber Harbin

 Hello, Lovelies. 
     According to CNN, "Two out of three Americans believe gay people commit suicide at least partly because of messages coming out of churches and other places of worship, a survey released Thursday found." I honestly agree with that. Why do I agree with that? Well, I have to go from my own experience. 
     I almost committed suicide as a teen and one of the reasons was I didn't think I was good enough for God. I hated myself, I did not approve of myself, and I thought something was wrong with me. Now other factors contributed to me wanting to commit suicide, but I am not going to get into those. Let's stick to what I mentioned. 
     When I was 15, my old best friend and I went to church together a few times. I remember sitting in the room where youths meet before the service. I had this shame hanging over my head. I was dating a girl and I felt like God was mad at me. I figured I'd ask one of the youth teachers there at the church that one question most of us ask, "Is it wrong to be attracted to the same sex?" Before the youth teacher could even speak, another girl butted in the conversation. Her words hit me hard and stayed with me a long time, even until recently. She crossed her arms, had a disgusted look on her face, and said with an attitude, "Gays are disgusting. That is just gross." 
     I felt more shame. I went home later on that day and I ended the relationship between the girl I loved. I still regret that decision. Even though I felt shame, I felt it in my heart to get baptized...because I wanted to get closer to God. Little did I know, God and I would have a rocky relationship for the next several years because I did not know his true character.
     Who is God? What is his character like? Is he mad at me? Is he mad at you? Does he hate me? Does he hate you? We all have these questions in mind and we tend to think that God is hateful, hates us, and we are not good enough for him. I am glad I learned the truth about God...and how loving he is. If you do not believe God is love, I suggest you read Ephesians. I know the King James Version is hard to understand, so I recommend either getting a version you can understand [such as the Amplified Bible], or look up a simpler version online. 

Ephesians 1:4-12

    Ephesians 1:4-12 says:
  • 4 Even as [in His love] He chose us [actually picked us out for Himself as His own] in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love.
    5 For He foreordained us (destined us, planned in love for us) to be adopted (revealed) as His own children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the purpose of His will [[b]because it pleased Him and was His kind intent]—
    6 [So that we might be] to the praise and the commendation of His glorious grace (favor and mercy), which He so freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.
    7 In Him we have redemption (deliverance and salvation) through His blood, the remission (forgiveness) of our offenses (shortcomings and trespasses), in accordance with the riches and the generosity of His gracious favor,
    8 Which He lavished upon us in every kind of wisdom and understanding (practical insight and prudence),
    9 Making known to us the mystery (secret) of His will (of His plan, of His purpose). [And it is this:] In accordance with His good pleasure (His merciful intention) which He had previously purposed and set forth in [c]Him,
    10 [He planned] for the maturity of the times and the climax of the ages to unify all things and head them up andconsummate them in Christ, [both] things in heaven and things on the earth.
    11 In Him we also were made [God’s] heritage (portion) and we obtained an inheritance; for we had been foreordained (chosen and appointed beforehand) in accordance with His purpose, Who works out everything in agreement with the counsel and design of His [own] will,
    12 So that we who first hoped in Christ [who first put our confidence in Him have been destined and appointed to] live for the praise of His glory!

            So what is my point? My point is: God loves you. Learn his character. Ignore the haters. God doesn't see what humans see. He looks at the heart. Suicide is not the answer! Jesus didn't let the Pharisees destroy his identity, so do not let the religious do it to you!

       Later on, I will address the issue about 'God hates _______". I will talk about who God is and what his character is like. 

      In the meantime, get your bible out if you wish...and look at Ephesians! :) God loves you.

With Love, Amber.

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My First Post: Blog Purpose and Goals

By: Amber Harbin

 Hello Lovelies!

     This is my first blog post and I am a bit nervous honestly. Writing the first post is actually a bit nerve wrecking. Why? Well, I want to show you all what my blog is about, introduce myself, and share my goals for the blog. I call myself a writer and I want to live up to that. For me, it is always a bit frustrating trying to start a writing project. I am pretty sure I am not the only one with this issue. Well, I finally decided to stop procrastinating and write this post. I am a writer and I have a message to spread.
     Last year, some events happened in my life that sparked an idea inside of me. The idea was to make a blog dedicated to spreading the truth about God's love. I am pretty sure there are a lot of people who feel like God doesn't love them, especially due to their sexual orientation. They feel this way because many people tell them they are disgusting, vile, and God hates them for who they are. If any of you are like what I used to be, you probably think that you are worthless and God hates you for what he created you to be. I am here to tell you that the lies religious Pharisees have put into your mind are garbage. If you believe their garbage, you will feel like garbage. 
     Why do I call their words garbage? Well, the religious claim to know who God is and what he is about. They use their man-made rules to control others and to get what they want. If we look back in history, we can see that many people have used God's name to excuse their hatred. After a certain amount of time, that crap becomes annoying and tiring. I am a Christian, mind you, and I can tell you that the religious bug me to no end. I am tired of seeing the religious twisting the bible for their own uses and acting like they are holier than thou. 
     So what is the true purpose of this blog? I want to show what I learn about God's love and what he really thinks about the LGBT community. I want to save a life by sharing my testimony and bring you on this faith journey with me. I will not hide who I am and I will admit...I will make mistakes. That is how people learn and grow as a person. I am not perfect and I may be wrong, but I feel that this blog is what God wants me to do. I am also going to share some of my experiences, my thoughts, and questions that pertain to Christianity and being in the LGBT community. All of these questions and thoughts will come about as I live my life as bisexual and serving God, trusting him through faith. 
    So as we go on this faith journey together, there are goals that I want to meet on this blog. There are so many and I realize I can't accomplish them all at once. Hopefully, with your help, these goals can be accomplished. In fact, I know they can be accomplished! :) In my opinion, every blog or writing piece should have goals related to the theme. For me, these goals will remind me of my purpose and what I want to get done. I don't want to get distracted or forget why I made the blog in the first place. 

Goals for the blog

     My goals for the blog are:
  • Show God is love
  • Show God doesn't see color or sexual orientation
  • Show God's true character
  • Change someone's mind
  • Change a stubborn mind
  • Save a Life
  • Show that not all Christians are hateful or religious.
  • Show what it is like for a Christian to live by faith, not man-made rules/regulations.
  • Love God/Jesus by loving others. 
  • Talk about, "What is Love?"
  • Talk about, "What does God actually hate?"
  • Talk about, "Is homosexuality actually a sin?"
  • Bring about tolerance for all races, religions, and sexual orientation.
  • Bring people closer to God.
  • Share my testimony
  • Show my journey and how I change/mature. 

Let's start the journey!

     So join me on this journey as I decide to live by faith and trust God. I am surrendering the fear and worry that I might "go to Hell" and I am believing God loves me for me. Not only will this journey better me and bring me closer to the Holy Spirit, but it will show others who God really is. Remember, God loves you and accepts you as is. He isn't shocked about you whatsoever. He made you in your mother's womb. Everything happens for a reason. Again, you are beautiful the way you are.


With Love,
Amber      

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