This blog has been on hiatus for a long time and people may think this blog is a dead-cause. I have news for all of you. This is just the beginning! Consider this blog on semi-hiatus. Whether or not I have a co-author, this blog will still live. I have so many things to share with all of you. It may not be what you want to hear and I may be rejected in all kinds of forms, but I do not care.

I want to change the world. I want to make a difference. If I stay silent or walk away, this world may stay the same. I can't bear to see my future children in a world where people are attacked for who they are. This blog may not be perfect, it may not look how I want it, and it may not be the best. However, perfection is not the reason for this blog. I want to share my story and my thoughts to change someones life.

I will come back. Promise.


"I don't care if you're black, white,,straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. Simple as that." -Eminem

Yes, yes it took me forever to do the quote for today. But I think this quote has some serious importance. I know I can't be the only one. Now - if a famous rapper can say "I don't care who you are, what your sexual orientation is or how you look, as long as you're nice to me I'll be nice to you," then what's from stopping the rest of the people of the world from following in his footsteps?

Fear. I think that the main problem with accepting people who are different than we are is fear. Not fear like someone might fear a spider. Fear of change. Fear of people who are different. We want everything and everyone to fit in this nice little neat box of categories, and anyone who we don't think should be in those categories is thrown out or shunned. That should NOT be the case. 

Love to all is one of the most IMPORTANT concepts you can teach to anyone. Your friends, your family, your children, your parents, your church, your neighbors. Anyone who will listen. You should love your neighbors (people in general) as you love yourself, and treat them with the same kindness as you would expect them to treat you with. That's one of the most important things to remember. 

I hate when I see a sign or hear someone say "God hates gays!" Okay - let me set one thing straight. HE DOES NOT HATE ANYONE! God created you just the way you are for a reason. God does NOT make mistakes. You were born gay or straight or bisexual or pansexual or lesbian. You didn't BECOME that way through a choice. God has a plan for you. You were not a mistake. I promise. God loves you no matter who you are or what you do. 

Going forward this week, please try to remember this. When you hear someone talking bad about the LGBT community, stand up. Be the one to speak out against the hate. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The only way we can break the hate is to conquer it with love..but that's another quote for another day. 

**I'm terribly terribly sorry for being so inactive lately. I got back from vacation around August 21, but since then I've gone back to school and it's been a lot more hectic than I originally thought it would be. I will do my best to post at least once a week. Thank you for your continuous support.**

Hello Lovelies.

Sadly, it is time for me to take a temporary hiatus. This is not permanent, however. I will be back and will continue on writing.

I need this hiatus. I need to stop, take a break, spend more time with God, do some research and studying, start writing on some of my articles, and take time to focus on college. There is some growing that I need to do before I continue further.

I figured this is the perfect time to take a hiatus, since my new co-author is on vacation for at least a month. It wouldn't be fair to do this when she comes back, so this is a great opportunity to take a break.

I need to rethink the purpose for this blog, what I really want to accomplish, and tap into listening to the Holy Spirit.

I DO NOT follow rules/regulation set by man in a book. I follow the HOLY SPIRIT and I need to strengthen my faith. I have been questioning my faith lately...and that is a good thing. It is a good thing to ask questions and think. What kind of life would it be for a Christian to never answer questions and act like a mindless robot? I believe God wants us to ask questions and to rebel against controlling Religions.

I also need to save up for some upgrades for the blog. If you want to donate, you can go here:

I am also going to stay off social media for a bit as well.

Keep an eye out for the blog's return!

Remember: GOD LOVES YOU and does not hate you. There is nothing wrong with you.


Throughout life, we all go through our own journey. Some of us believe in fate and chance, while others rely on faith. We all face difficulties in our journey; they make us who we are. We can either choose to let it make us stronger or let it break us. In my opinion, I believe what I am going through right now is going to make me stronger in the end. I repeatedly have to keep asking God for strength, because I have been tempted to give up. My strength is weakening, my faith is on the rocks, and I have fears. Every day seems like a huge battle for me and I feel lost. I feel like I am stuck on this road leading me to my destiny. I do not know which road to take and I am nervous to take risks. I didn't used to be this way, but life brought these fears upon me. I do not want to be a failure. I do not want to be who everyone wants me to be. I want to be me, but honestly, I am scared to be me.

I am questioning my faith, but I believe it will help me in the end. I know God exists and He is amazing; however, I feel like an outsider. Many churches are still in that religious mind-set. They want that control and can't stand it when they do not have the power. In the past, religion was used for control, to keep people in line, and to fulfill selfish desires. When I say selfish desires, I mean that the Bible would be used to ban or promote issues for their own ignorance. God is always portrayed as hateful, greedy, and judgmental. Manifest Destiny, slavery promotion, and interracial marriage ban are just a few examples of that. Now, the Bible and God's name is being used as an excuse to hate anyone who is part of the LGBT community.

I am starting to question certain things and just ask a lot of questions in my head. I know for a fact the Bible was tampered with and is still changed to this day. For example, in the King James Version, it says do not put markings of the dead upon your body (Leviticus 19:28). However, if you look at other new versions of the bible, it says something different. It mentions tattoos instead. I find that odd. That is just one of the many examples I have seen that has made me believe the Bible is manipulated. Now, I do believe The Bible holds the true word of God. However, we need to admit there is evidence the Bible has been changed and is continuing to change.

 By: Amber Harbin
**This post has a lot of emotional content within it and bullying/other abusive behavior is discussed as well.**

For most of my life, I have thought something was wrong with me. My self-esteem was ripped to pieces at an early age and I could not stand who I was. Thank God I am not where I use to be. As Joyce Meyer says, "I may not be where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be." It wasn't my fault that I had a low self-esteem, but I should have learned not to wallow in self-pity. I want to share some deep and personal memories in this post. Believe it or not, I am a private person. It is hard to believe since I have a blog, want to have more blogs, and I have a twitter account. Why would I be on social media and have a blog if I was a private person? Well, first off I believe I have a message to spread. That message is that God loves everyone, accepts everyone, and there is nothing wrong with the LGBT community. I want to save a life. I want to have someone feel like they are not alone when they read my posts. Also, I never really had anyone to talk to growing up. Sure, I had a couple best friends but it is more complicated than you think. Between moving around a lot and getting older, friendships tend to die and people go their own separate ways.

I've never been allowed to talk or given freedom of expression, if you will. Every time I would open my mouth to say a word, I was told to shut up and I was always put down. My mother was really dysfunctional, so when my family called me, "Pam Junior" or put me down, it really got to me. My family told me all my mom did was talk and never learned to shut up. They would run when they saw her coming. She was a drama queen. All I wanted to do was have a conversation or talk to someone, but every time I was made to feel like I didn't deserve to talk. From the beginning, most of my family has compared me to my mother and never sees good in me. When you are a child and you are told how fat you are, it brings you down. If your own mother says she hates you, wishes she had an abortion, and would beat you mercilessly, it would bring you down. If your family compares you to your crazy mother, doesn't really talk to you, puts you down for your weight, and treats you like an outcast, it can bring you down. If some of your family hate you for having blue eyes, blonde hair, and pale skin, you tend to think you are a disease. Not only did my family put me down for those things, but people at school did too. I was even ashamed to be white, because I was put down by others who were a different color than me. I didn't understand. I don't see "color". Never have, never will. My brain figured if my mother rejects me, my father doesn't want me, and my own family hates me, something must be wrong with me. 

I wish I could go back to the past and tell myself how wrong the family was about me. When I look back at my baby pictures, I see a beautiful and adorable little girl. I don't see the horrible things they said about me. I have learned that nothing is wrong with me, in fact, they are the ones that need help. I learned over the years that the family has a cycle of hurting each other. They are insecure, hateful, love causing drama, and are way beyond dysfunctional. Them putting me down and making me feel like crap made them feel better temporarily. It gives them some kind of sick power and rush, but it doesn't cure their pain does it? I know they are in pain. I know that. Still, it doesn't excuse what you do to someone. We were supposed to be a family, but we never were. It is like a circus that should have been disbanded a long time ago. My family lives to hurt each other and doesn't want to see each other succeed. I had to make a decision and get away from most of them. There are more people I am going to weed out of my life, but for now I have done what I needed to do. 

I forgive my family for what they have done and I forgive all my enemies who have put me down. Yes, I've been bullied, rejected, and beaten. It made me stronger in the end. No child deserves to be abused or hurt in any kind of way. I would never wish any pain or my pain on anyone else. I am stronger because of it and it is going to make me live a good life. I didn't have a good beginning, but I am going to have a great ending. The middle of it is going to be just as fantastic as the ending. You have a choice. PLEASE accept yourself. Love yourself for who you are. Even if your family rejects you and puts you down, keep the faith. They are the ones who can't see what greatness you have. You are beautiful, amazing, and important! Believe that with all your heart and do not let anyone bring you down. You have a mission and a purpose in this world. 

God put me on this earth for a reason. Believe me, many times I wished I was never born. Every time I would hear Martina McBride's 'Concrete Angel' song, I would always burst out crying when she sung about the girl wishing she was never born. I felt it deep in my heart that God made a mistake. GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES. Yes, I went through hell and back, but I am still here. If I didn't go through what I did, who knows what kind of person I would have become. Everything happens for a reason and God has delivered me from the "Egypt" in my life. He is still leading me to my "promised land" and he is doing the same for you. Stop going around the same desert in your life and throw away the negativity. You are God's masterpiece and you are here for a reason.

Please accept yourself. I will accept you for who you are. Be yourself, love. Stay original because copies are not the same. They might look the same, but they are so different. Would you rather be a miserable copy or the original masterpiece God created you to be. You choose.

                                             With Love,

By: Amber Harbin

As I am sitting on my bed, thoughts are entering my head. Am I making a difference? Is this blog a waste of time? Should I just give up? The main reason I started this blog was because I wanted to make a difference. I know everyone is not a Christian or believes in God. However, there are people who do believe God exists. If there are people out there who think like I used to, I am pretty sure they believe God hates them. Rejection is a horrible thing to face, especially when it comes from a God who is supposed to love you. When I thought God hated me and rejected me, I was miserable deep inside. I had thoughts of suicide, fear of rejection, and I felt like I could never measure up. I am a bi-sexual Christian and that is not "normal" in society. There are people in the LGBT community, as well as in Christianity, that do not accept bi-sexuals. Someone has to make a stand and say something.

There are children and teenagers who have gone through what I did. I would never wish that kind of pain on anyone, especially children or teenagers. It is my hope that someone who feels rejected, hated, or confused will see my posts. I want them to accept who they are inside and to love each other. I can't quit now, because if i do, I will regret it forever. I could save someone today. I could save someone tomorrow. Everyone should know God loves them and he doesn't look at sexual orientation or color.

I will admit that I have a little bit of fear this blog is doing nothing to help others. However, I do feel God put it on my heart to do this blog. I am stepping out in faith to do this project, instead of beating myself up for who I am. God works in mysterious ways and He works through people who others discard as trash or lowly (1 Corinthians 1:28-29). I am not perfect. I do not know it all. I did not go to a Bible college. However, Jesus picked people to be his disciples that the Pharisees did not like. The only person the Pharisees liked ended up betraying Jesus. I have to hold on to this hope that this blog will change a life. It means so much for me to make a difference, because I do not want people to go through what I went through. No child or teenager should have to hate themselves.

People may get annoyed that I keep repeating to accept yourself. However, someone may need to hear it. If people accepted themselves and had love in them, there would be less crime and havoc in the world. I may be right and I may be wrong, but I have to speak my mind. Someone has to speak up. I may be wasting my time. However, if Martin Luther King had that same mentality, maybe we would still be segregated by color. Stick to your dream and make a difference!

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