By: Amber Harbin
As I am sitting on my bed, thoughts are entering my head. Am I making a difference? Is this blog a waste of time? Should I just give up? The main reason I started this blog was because I wanted to make a difference. I know everyone is not a Christian or believes in God. However, there are people who do believe God exists. If there are people out there who think like I used to, I am pretty sure they believe God hates them. Rejection is a horrible thing to face, especially when it comes from a God who is supposed to love you. When I thought God hated me and rejected me, I was miserable deep inside. I had thoughts of suicide, fear of rejection, and I felt like I could never measure up. I am a bi-sexual Christian and that is not "normal" in society. There are people in the LGBT community, as well as in Christianity, that do not accept bi-sexuals. Someone has to make a stand and say something.
There are children and teenagers who have gone through what I did. I would never wish that kind of pain on anyone, especially children or teenagers. It is my hope that someone who feels rejected, hated, or confused will see my posts. I want them to accept who they are inside and to love each other. I can't quit now, because if i do, I will regret it forever. I could save someone today. I could save someone tomorrow. Everyone should know God loves them and he doesn't look at sexual orientation or color.
I will admit that I have a little bit of fear this blog is doing nothing to help others. However, I do feel God put it on my heart to do this blog. I am stepping out in faith to do this project, instead of beating myself up for who I am. God works in mysterious ways and He works through people who others discard as trash or lowly (1 Corinthians 1:28-29). I am not perfect. I do not know it all. I did not go to a Bible college. However, Jesus picked people to be his disciples that the Pharisees did not like. The only person the Pharisees liked ended up betraying Jesus. I have to hold on to this hope that this blog will change a life. It means so much for me to make a difference, because I do not want people to go through what I went through. No child or teenager should have to hate themselves.
People may get annoyed that I keep repeating to accept yourself. However, someone may need to hear it. If people accepted themselves and had love in them, there would be less crime and havoc in the world. I may be right and I may be wrong, but I have to speak my mind. Someone has to speak up. I may be wasting my time. However, if Martin Luther King had that same mentality, maybe we would still be segregated by color. Stick to your dream and make a difference!
