By:
Amber Harbin
How
do we fight off hate? Well, from my faith point-of-view, we can fight
it off doing it God's way. What is God's way? Well, God tells us to
pray for your enemies, forgive them, never let the sun go down on
your anger, and to shake it off. A lot of people may say, "It is
easier said than done." They are right. It is extremely hard and
it is not going to be easy. We are so spoiled and want things the
easy way. I know we all wish we had some magic pill to get rid of all
of our problems, but that is not how life works. In life, you have to
fight for what you want. You have to put effort into a lot of things
in life.
- Step 1: Do not fuel it with hatred of your own.
Sometimes,
when people hurt us it causes us to develop hatred of our own. We let
emotions rule our head and then we end up saying/doing something that
makes the situation worse. If the hatred is happening on social
media, block/report the person! Also, don't be afraid to stand up for
what you believe in. Do not do it with hatred, however. Stand up for
what you believe in with love, common sense, and maturity. Do
not hate your brother, for if you hate your brother, you are not
doing what Jesus told you to do.
Psalm
37:8 → Cease from anger and forsake wrath; fret not
yourself...it tends only to evildoing.
Proverbs
15:1 → A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir
up anger.
Proverbs
16:32 → He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, he
who rules his [own] spirit than he who takes a city.
- Step 2: Accept Hatred will come your way.
When
you stand up for who you are or accept yourself, hatred is bound to
find you at some point. Why? Humans can be ignorant, hateful, and
selfish creatures. Does that mean we let it get to us? No. Did you
know a holocaust survivor chose not to let the hatred get to him?
Viktor E. Frankl, who was in the holocaust, said a great quote that
we should all remember. He said,“We
who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked
through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of
bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient
proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last
of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of
circumstances, to choose one's own way.”
So
yes, hatred is going to come your way at some point. However, it is
about how you handle the hatred that is given to you. You have to
stand up for what you believe in and who you are, no matter what
comes your way. People are going to disagree with you and not
everyone is going to like you. You have to come to peace with that.
- Step 3: Forgive and move on.
When
someone says hurtful things to you, sometimes it can be hard to walk
away or even forget what they said. Words hurt more than people
realize and can change a life, even end a life. However, we have to
get to a point where we don't let words change who we are. Yes, we
are allowed to get upset...otherwise we wouldn't be human beings.
However, after we grieve a bit and think on it a few, it is time to
put it behind you. Put it in
an imaginary
chest and throw it away in your mind. Why? If we dwell on something
someone said, we will start to believe it. Forgive and move on.
From
a faith point of view, it is great to pray for your enemies.
Forgiveness is about forgiving when you are so pissed off you can
hardly stand it! It isn't easy, but it gets easier each time you do
it, especially with God's help and intervention. If you try to
forgive through your own flesh[human desires], it is not going to
work. Pray for them even if you are gritting your teeth and you feel
like you don't mean it. God hears you and it will get easier every
time, trust me.
- Step 4: Shake it Off/Use it to your advantage
It
is time to shake off those words they said about you. They are not
true and you don't care what they think. Just shake it off. YOU HAVE
A CHOICE when it comes to taking offense. You don't have to take
offense. Forgive, pray, move on, and ask God for strength. You can
also use the painful words and experiences to change someone else's
life. There are so many ways you can take hatred and turn it around
for the better. For example, I was bullied for who I was and rejected
by my family. Now, I have a twitter and a blog dedicated to letting
people know God loves them and they should accept themselves.
Everything happens for a reason.
How to Fight Off Hate [opinions from LGBTsupport.org]
Have
you ever wanted a place where you could belong and be yourself? I, as
a member of the LGBT community, used to find it hard to belong. When
I was younger, sites like the Trevor Project or LGBTsupport.org
didn't exist. Fortunately, the LGBT community has more support than
they did years ago. One of the websites to go to, besides the Trevor
Project, is LGBTsupport.org! :)
What is LGBTsupport.org and why is it important? It is a WORLDWIDE non-profit organization that provides a lot of helpful resources for the LGBT community. They have an online forum where LGBT advice, guidance, and support can be found. The website also offers suicide prevention assistance, along with help in tough situations. A tough situation would be like rape, domestic abuse, or being bullied. The founders of the website have their phones turned on twenty-four hours a day! Do not hesitate to call them if you need help. Also, call 911 if you are in a dire emergency!
I
had the amazing privilege to interview them and get their opinion on
how to fight off hate. Matt Stout, the main founder of the website,
has experienced a lot of hate. In fact, he experiences it everyday as
a waiter, because most of his customers don't believe in equality.
Imagine, day after day, someone treats you like you are not part of
society due to your sexual orientation. It is like being treated like
an outcast because of your color. Because of Matt's experience with
hate, he has learned how to fight it off when it comes his way.
Matt
Stout: "I think we can fight off hate the same way I tell you!
Just ignore the haters. Don't respond. Don't acknowledge the hate, to
not give them fuel for the fire." He also went on to quote Miley
Cyrus, the Hannah Montana and 'Wrecking Ball' star. "Remember
only God can judge us, forget the haters -Miley Cyrus."
Matt doesn't handle the website alone, in fact, Rachael Acuff puts in the same amount of work as he does. Rachael also has suggestions on how to fight off hate and what it takes to let it go.
Rachael
Acuff: "I think when fighting off hate, you need to be strong in
yourself, you need to have confidence in what you believe. You need
to have a voice when seeing acts of hate being committed. I think the
best advice that I can give to others experiencing hate is to report
it if at school or work setting. And always have a strong support
system around you of people you trust. Having someone to talk to
about struggles your having in your life is one of the most important
things you can have to make life a little easier. Forgiveness is a
hard thing to do when facing someone who may have caused you a lot of
pain, but it is vital in order for you to heal. It isn't something
that can be rushed. It has to come at a time when you are ready to
face the person and the hate they subjected you to. I don't believe
people should shake off the hate so much as taking it and turning it
around into something positive."
Believe
it or not, Rachael has hated a person once. She shared with me her
experience and how she learned to forgive that person. Letting go of
hate is a process and Rachael realizes that. That is what makes her a
better person, because she took a step back and realized she needed
to walk in love instead of hate.
Rachael
Acuff: "I have personally experienced feelings of hate toward my
ex-husband. I had to get to a point where I was ready to forgive him.
I had to look at all of the good things he did for me and not just
the bad. When I was able to really step back and do that I was able
to forgive him for what he had done and it allowed me to finally
heal. And quit feeling the pain of the past. I still have little
respect for him, but I no longer hate him."
How do YOU fight off hate?
How
do you fight off hate? What experiences have you had and what tips
can you share for everyone else to see? It might appear in future
posts :)
With Love, Amber
